Newsletter Articles written by Tera Thomas
Issue 17
Grace and Gratitude
by Tera Thomas
Fall is my favorite time of year. I love the crisp, cool mornings, the golden light, the smell of moldering leaves and wood smoke. We have had a particularly beautiful fall, with many days of bright blue skies and warm temperatures, the kind of days I just want to be outside.
That is exactly where I wanted to be, outside. I did not want to be indoors, sitting in front of my computer working on the newsletter. I knew I wanted to write an article about gratitude as I have been feeling so grateful for every day, and yet I just couldn’t get the article started and I was beginning to feel… well, ungrateful.
So, I played hooky and went outside, but all I could think about was the work I was not doing. Later when I came in there was a message: “You must be out playing with the animals,” Susan said. “Lucky you!”
Well, I had been sitting outside in the pasture with the animals, but I had not been playing with them. I know that they came to be near me. They ate grass for a while then, one-by-one they laid down to chew their cuds and rest. But I was not particularly feeling this peaceful communion. I barely noticed that the sun was shining and there was a sweet breeze blowing through the trees and bringing down little showers of colored leaves. In fact, this beautiful setting with my animal friends was pretty much wasted on me as I was immersed with feeling annoyed that I didn’t have the time to sit there, that I should be in front of the computer, working.
“Lucky you!” Susan’s message had said. I burst out laughing. I am truly one of the luckiest people I know. I live on this beautiful land with animals every where. I spend so much of my life in deep connection with all of this and I am so grateful every day.
Yet, I can forget in a split second just how precious each moment is. Why is it so darn easy to fall into the place of discontent, even when I am so blessed? Inka, my llama guru, says it is equally easy to fall into the place of blessing and to live a life in grace and gratitude. Each moment is a beginning, it is always new.
And so, with gratitude, I sat down at my computer to write. I no longer felt forced to sit here; it didn’t even feel like work to me.
Inka once told me that grace is love for no reason and that gratitude is the acceptance of grace. We choose in each moment who we are, what we feel, and often we forget that we made a choice. Perhaps it has been my habit to grumble and grouse and so I sometimes choose that because it is comforting in a familiar way. I am learning a new way of being, a place of love, a state of open acceptance, a new habit of grace, of gratitude, and it is becoming a comfortable, familiar place for me to be. It feels like coming home, like leaving it was just a dream and it is so good to be back. It is okay that I chose to spend several hours grumbling and I will not waste my time thinking about something else I should or could have done differently. I am in another moment now and that means it is another opportunity to choose.
I look out the window at the golden light playing on the rolling hills. I see the goats and llamas racing each other around the front pasture, finishing each race with a leaping flourish. I saw otters in the river this morning and a great blue heron. I walked through the woods with a friend and sat on a rock where the creek rushes down to join the river. My butt got wet and cold but our conversation was rich and I didn’t care. My dog, Max, is snoring in a sunspot on the carpet; the cats are curled up on the couch. I am so wealthy!
And now, because I am the luckiest person in the world, I am going to chose to spend the rest of this day in grace and gratitude. I will finish my work on this newsletter and then I’m going outside to play with the animals and give thanks for this gorgeous day. I wish you love for this holiday season.
